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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23936338">Dear Tragedy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/metalkicker/pseuds/metalkicker'>metalkicker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Transformers - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Child Abuse, Murder, Other, Patricide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:06:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23936338</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/metalkicker/pseuds/metalkicker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a snippet of Metalkicker's life, growing up as the son of one of New York City's greatest gangsters.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dear Tragedy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a self indulgent piece for me! The song that inspired it is Dear Tragedy by Bayside, especially the line "You'll pay for what you did to me". Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Metalkicker was used to the feeling of Starscream’s angry hands from childhood. There’s not a moment in his memory where his father used words instead of his fists to teach him a lesson. By age 6, Metalkicker was a quiet and timid boy, used to being seen and not heard when business is done at home. By 8, Kicks is used to cleaning up blood from the hardwood floors, whether it’s his or someone else’s. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Metalkicker is 10 when Starscream brands his face as an act of loyalty to Megatron.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After the initial shock (and pain) and healing, he finds himself embarrassed to be so easily used and tortured by someone who’s supposed to look after him. Kicks wears a bandage over the mark on his face when he’s out doing his paper run, but when he does work for the Decepticons, Starscream makes him take the bandage off. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You should be proud. It’s the one thing that connects us.” Starscream says. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>What about our blood??</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ Kicks wants to scream at him in defiance. ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>You made me, I exist because of you</span>
  </em>
  <span>’</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, sir..” is the reply, though everyone knows they’re related. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The noses, the eyes, the slight frame and hunched posture. Kicks does have parts of his mother though. Her freckles, dusted over his face, shoulders, and arms. The striking red hair, not a common look amongst the Decepticons, and the soft roundness of his face. His eyes, one red (the mark of a ‘Con), and one orange, the delicate feature from his mother that Kicks always loved as a child. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>By 13, Kicks thinks he’s past the worst of it all. He sleeps at different places most nights, not interested in dealing with Starscream’s insults at home. Nitrostorm offers the barn out back and Kicks gratefully takes him up on that offer 4 nights a week during the warm months. The smell of hay and the sound of mice scuttling become a lullabye to someone who’s spent his whole life afraid to sleep because of the abuse that would happen if he slept in. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Khaotic takes Kick under her wing and teaches him a few things as well. Like changing the tire on a car, or how to use a knife in a fight. She teaches him that coffee is delicious and that donuts are a Friday morning treat for the young members of the Decepticons. They pile in a car full with boxes of booze in the back and munch on donuts on their way to Atlantic City. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He almost feels human with them. Khaotic is warm, though she’s got a tongue as sharp as a whip. Archon is a little spacy, but he’s the best at always having extra cigarettes to share. Kicks finds himself the happiest he’s ever been with them on the 4 hour round trip they take every Friday. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It all comes to a crashing halt that winter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kicks wouldn’t consider himself a coward, but when the cops bust one of their illegal distilleries when he’s loading a truck, he runs to live another day. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s the wrong move, he learns a few hours later. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t believe your cowardice!” Starscream spits at him. They’re at HQ, and everyone seems to be there. It’s quiet, Megatron watches from his chair while smoking a cigar. “I didn’t raise you to run like a cockroach, Metalkicker!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t raise me at all.” Metalkicker bites back for the first time in his entire life.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The room stills. Megatron raises an eyebrow at the defiance from someone usually so meek and obedient. Even Soundwave’s guarded expression shifts, just a touch. Khaotic and Archon share a look.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then, like a tsunami, Starscream is on him, hurling insults, and Kicks doesn’t even have enough time to cover his face before Starscream hits him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He’s used to a few blows, sure, whether they’re street fights or just a beating in general, but this is different. This feels like Starscream has been holding back his whole life, like this is finally the flood gate opening for his father to beat him to death. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kicks doesn’t stand a chance, and nobody intervenes until Starscream is straddling his chest, hands on his throat and </span>
  <em>
    <span>squeezing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Starscream.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kicks hardly hears Megatron’s voice, it sounds like he’s underwater, and his heart is so loud in his ears. It hurts, and he knows his nose is broken, and he knows his own father hates him enough to kill him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It hurts</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There’s spots in his vision when he finally sees Megatron’s large hand on Starscream’s shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s enough, Starscream.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And just like that, there’s air again. Then darkness.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kicks finds himself in Shockwave’s extra room after the incident. The first day is hazy, his body sore and tired from being beat within an inch of his life, but Shockwave brings him a bit of tea and gives Kicks something for the pain. Then he does something Kicks does not expect: he brushes the hair back from his forehead. Just a simple, gentle touch. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Metalkicker cries when he leaves the room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Shockwave takes good care of him while he recovers, though he does poke and prod a bit too much for Metalkicker’s taste. Starscream always told him not to get close to Shockwave, he said that Shockwave was a freak who would kidnap him and do all sorts of horrible experiments. Although Shockwave does do some experiments, they’re usually not horrible. He tests Kick’s reflexes, draws some blood, checks his heart, normal doctor stuff. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And he cooks too much.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Metalkicker is shocked at the amount of food Shockwave tries to get him to eat every day, till one day he finally asks why.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you trying to fatten me up to eat me, Shockwave..?” Kicks asks at dinner, poking at the huge mound of potatoes the doctor put on his plate.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not interested in eating you.” Shockwave responds, though he does sound a bit amused. “I’m hoping to put some weight on you so you can stand up for yourself. You shouldn’t let Starscream push you around like that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s my..” Kicks pauses, uncomfortable at the thought of standing up for himself again, “he’s in charge of me, I have to listen to him and his rules.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to. You’ve seen the way he acts around Megatron.” Shockwave takes a bite of his food, then says absentmindedly, “nobody would blame you if you tried to kill him.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kicks holds onto that conversation. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Once his bruises are a sickly yellow and healing, Kicks is finally allowed to go back home. Starscream doesn’t apologize, doesn’t change the way he treats his own flesh and blood. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At 14, Metalkicker realises how cruel the world is when Megatron cuts out Archon’s eye in front of everyone. He wants to protect his friend, he makes a noise, takes a step forward, before Khaotic is pulling him back. She hugs him, presses his face into her shoulder to keep him from watching. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She murmurs something but it’s not heard over the screaming. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At 17, Kicks has a routine. He’s in charge of an entire distillery, from the making of moonshine down to the deliveries halfway down the coast. Starscream pays him pocket change, but it’s enough. He puts every dime away, he wants to live on his own, away from Starscream and the horrible memories their home has. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But somehow Starscream finds out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>One day Metalkicker goes to the bank and finds his account completely drained. A thousand dollars, gone like that. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your father made the withdrawal.” The girl at the bank says, and Kicks knows that nobody here would put up a fight against Starscream of the Decepticons.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He thanks her, then heads home.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Starscream is smug when Kicks walks through the door, sitting on his favorite chair with a glass of whiskey. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Metalkicker, I have a question for you.” The smirk is already wide on his face, “what does a boy like you need a thousand dollars for? Are you planning on running away from us?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I was going to get a house with Archon.” Kicks can feel his ears getting hot, he’s afraid that Starscream is going to kill him, but there’s also something hot and bubbling in his chest. He might be angry, actually. “That’s all. We found a place by HQ.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“‘That’s all’” Starscream mocks, rolling his eyes. “What’s wrong with living with me? Are you unhappy here?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m… 17, sir.” What kind of stupid question is that, of course he’s unhappy. “I just figured it’s time for me to.. Be an adult.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think so, boy.” Starscream finishes his whiskey, then lifts the cup, “go get me some more, would you? The bottle is in the kitchen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kicks takes the glass from his father and walks into the kitchen, adding a few more ice cubes before pouring more whiskey. Before making the split decision to grab the sharpest knife from the block.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you going to keep the money?” Kicks asks as he walks back into the living room, though he already knows the answer.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course I am, you worthless thing.” He waves his hand, expectantly waiting for the glass. “I’ll get myself a nice pair of cufflinks, we’ll say it’s an early father’s day present. Hah.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kicks steps in front of him, smiling, before smashing the glass against his father’s skull. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Starscream doesn’t even have a chance to scream before Kicks plunges the knife into his chest. He does it again and again and again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Metal… kicker..!” Starscream chokes, blood dripping down his lips.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Metalkicker can’t handle the way Starscream looks at him, so he stabs him again. Then again. Until Starscream stops moving and stops making that horrible, wet choking sound. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At 17, Kicks is really good at cleaning up blood from the hardwood floors in their home. The chair has to go, it’s completely ruined from the blood. Kicks loads it into the back of his booze running truck, along with the body. But he’s got a parcel wrapped up in a sheet in the front seat with him. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He takes his time driving to HQ. He feels oddly… calm, about all that’s happened. He’s not upset. He feels light. Free. Well, to a certain degree.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Megatron isn’t surprised to see Kicks. He’s never cared deeply for the boy, but he’s always thought he was better behaved than Archon. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing here alone, little one?” Megatron asks, breathing out a huge cloud of cigar smoke. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I want Starscream’s territory, sir.” Metalkicker asks in a clear voice. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Megatron laughs. Of course he does, Metalkicker doesn’t expect anything else. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Beg your pardon?” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But Megatron doesn’t expect it when Metalkicker pulls Starscream’s head from the parcel, dropping it at his leader’s feet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I want Starscream’s territory, sir.” He asks again. </span>
</p>
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